Apparently cheaters always win.

I started my diet again this week. I have a little bet with a few of the other folks at work who are either getting too portly or "think" they are. This second group kills me. Most of the time these people look as if they are 2 meals away from becoming completely emaciated. I love these cats, they are so easy to convince they are starting to look like us that if you say something along the lines of, " hey you might want to stick with the Bud Light", or " Hey don't sit in that chair it's not as strong as it used to be", or my favorite, "Remember fat smoothes out the wrinkles."

Anyway after laying the ground work, I convinced all of my coworkers to get in on the pot. You see it is no fun to diet alone. Also in my profession donuts abound, and if I expect to lose any weight, they have to cease the stops at Krispy Kreme. I convinced everybody to put cash into the kitty, with the winner being the person who lost the greatest percentage of weight in 6 weeks. Now I have been wanting to diet for a long time, but it takes cash to really motivate me to get off my great big ass and get started. So we weighed in and stocks in Weight Watchers and Jenny Craig took a huge jump. Now you ask, why do I care if Geez is getting so big he breathes hard when he tries to kick the cat, or he can’t walk by the Ben and Jerry's display at the local Piggly Wiggly without hallucinating. Well if I tell you I am doing this, then I feel obliged to actually do it. So feel free to inquire as to how I am doing, I hope this will keep me on the straight and narrow. I have to tell you that being the competitive person that I am, I hedged a little when I weighed in. I forgot to take off my boots, wallet, keys, handcuffs, and two way radio. Think they noticed?

My own council will I keep...

Thank God that cluster called Survivor is over! I was so mad I wanted to spit out my eyeballs. Rob should and really did win that game and that is all I will say about that.

As you all know yours and my favorite show will soon be on TV. Hallelujah and pass the bad directions!! I so look forward to seeing other people get lost in an alien country, lose important and valuable property and get the opportunity to make total asses out of themselves.

To you who will be racing (and I know you are out there scanning the sites and getting a feel for how the fans will be reacting to you). My advice to you is, “Don't bother.” The unblinking eye tried to prepare you for the slings and arrows that will be sent in your direction, but it doesn't come near what you will experience. Oh some people, will like and even be very fond of you, but there are those small minded ones that will take pleasure in changing and twisting your words. They claim that, " You applied for this so you knew what you were getting yourself into." By the time they are done feeding on you, they will have warped anything you might have said, analyzed anything you may have done, and without a second thought tried to make you and your friends feel less than you really were. There are some site administrators (think feminine back street), I will not mention their names as this is my site and I don't want to sully it by bringing the riff raff in. These people use their sites to elevate themselves to some self appointed lofty position and cast dispersions upon others as though they have some right to do so. I say this to them and you can feel free to join me when I say this, " SHOO THE CAT OFF YOUR LAP, GET OFF YOUR FAT ASS AND GET ON YOUR OWN SHOW".

Anyway what I really wanted to say to you is this, we know you probably didn't win, hell you probably didn't get that far, but that will matter very little in time. If you were as fortunate as us you made awesome lifelong friends. I promise you will walk away with far more that you ever thought you would, it will be on your mind for a long time to come and the people you Raced with, will be near and dear to your heart. You are now a part of the Amazing Race family welcome home.

T.V. Rots your brain.

As a child I had two favorite heroes that I got a kick out of watching everyday after school. One of them was Forman Scotty and the other was Dan D Dynamo, better know as 3-D Danny. These heroes tried to instill in their young viewers the importance of honesty, integrity, kindness and loyalty. I see in Tom and Rupert the same qualities and I believe thay have played the game up right. Since I don't want to say anything bad about anyone else i will leave it at that. Hey Rupert, you go man, I am cheerin for you.

Left a good job in the city...

Ok so I am little windy this week, I got some time on my hands. I have taken a look at the Survivor team from a supervisor’s point of view and this is what I have come up with for the final members of the tribe. Or as their new boss, the employees.

1. First on my list is of course Rob. Now Rob's the kind of employee that wants extra time off without using up his sick leave so he calls in on Mondays, Fridays and after all big the sporting events. He is a hard worker and pretty funny so it's hard to stay mad at the guy but YOU KNOW he will be calling in after the Superbowl or if he starts to feel bad on Thursday. You all know this type, hell most of you are this type, that's why you can all relate to Rob.

2. # 2 is Rupert, he is your loyal conscientious employee who will work his butt off, but he will never let you forget that he did it. You can work this guy into the ground but be prepared to hear about it for as long as he works for you. Not a bad employee if you can put up with the aggravation.

3. Jenna, I'll just call her water cooler girl. ‘Nuff said.

4. Good ol Tom. Who doesn’t love this guy? Tom is the type of employee that will work and work and work and never say a thing and then one day he calls you on the phone and says," Hey Ya'll I'm takin’ a 6 week vacation see ya'll when I get back". No warning and no heads up he’s just gone. He's a hard man to hold down for long.

5. Amber is the sneaky little pot stirrer. She gets the water cooler girl all amped about what she did with the sick guy over her really cool weekend. Consequently your number 1 has now called in sick again, making the two hard working dudes really mad. With one starting to piss and moan, the other cuts out for Mexico, not to be seen for about 2 weeks when he comes back with a really gnarly sunburn and a bad hat.

Ah ain't work grand? I go there sometimes to escape, don't worry they already eliminated that dude.

I say whatinthe, whatinthe...

It's been hot here in Cali and I am starting to be affected by the weather. I wore shorts the other day and I will tell you right now I feel like Foghorn Leghorn when I look in the mirror. Big ‘ol body little ‘ol chicken legs and white meat to boot. That’s right ladies, white meat. Anyway back to what I came to talk about, Survivor, the number two reality TV show on the air, lest I remind you of the Emmy. Any who, The best part was ‘ol Rupert insisting that the rest of the lazy bunch get out there and clean their own fish and Jenna making the excuse that she was cooking. Well I don't know about you but it looked more like sitting and eating to me. Now about the elimination, Shi Ann knew she was going out so she played it smart and put the one person that no ones ever sees into the spotlight. All they see really is Rob. I tell ya that girl had big balls. I was not really a fan of hers but I have turned and wished she had gone further she had so much potential. I am going to be sorry to see Rob go but I am betting that if he does not win immunity next week he is gone, gone, gone!