Diets a-go-go

Well I am still on my diet. I always know when I am getting too pudgy. It seems that everybody greets you with a poke to your stomach. Unless your pokin me with hundred dollar bills I don't find this a good way to greet me and the next guy who does it, is gonna get a wrist lock thrown on him faster than a tithe plate at a prayer meetin. Anyways, first I tried the Low Carb diet. I liked this diet, you ate all the steak and red meat you wanted. For a steak and potatoes guy like myself this diet was the ticket, Did I mention that I’m a steak and potatoes guy? Yeah I love my taters. I liked them fried, boiled, fried, mashed, fried, baked, fried, pan caked, and fried and sometimes I like them raw but mostly I like them fried. I do love those sons of Idaho. Back on subject, (My mind started to wander a little there over McDonalds fries.) I then started on the weight watchers. Now I have done this diet before and have had a lot of luck with it. It's the diet where you count points and everything is worth points. According to your size, you get more or less points in a day to eat with. Now the trouble with this diet is that you begin to justify your points, say spinach is free (no points) so instead of having your cup of spinach you eat the whole can, hey it's free right? Then there are those snacks, which is why we got fat in the first place. They make snacks for fat people, when they should be showing us, how to make free spinach, a snack. But NOOO they keep us hooked on the candy and pies and ice cream so that when we fall off the wagon, (and we do) Ben and Jerry are there to catch us. For these folks, our falling off the wagon is a good thing. You see there is this thing called an enrollment fee that these programs charge and every single time you come back in to sign up, they pop you for a new one. Then there is Jenny Craig. Let’s just say this, Jenny your food sucks, there is not enough of it, it and needs more salt. Jesus, if you eat those meals you will starve.
So now I am back to the Low Carb diet. I will attempt to suffer through without the potatoes. I may need to substitute something for them though, I am thinking beer. Wish me luck.